Being Unavailable

Unavailable

Unavailable

 

 

I am new to this dating thing I guess. Being attached for 7-ish years you forget what dating is about. Not even dating but interacting with the opposite sex. I am the type of person that is all in right away, not information wise but my effort is 100% at the beginning. I am an all or nothing type of person but what I am noticing is that isn’t perhaps the right way to be. I think dudes want you to play the unavailable game, which is weird to me. I think they appreciate a women who doesn’t have time for them. Someone who is constantly preoccupied so they have an opportunity to chase.
Don’t get me wrong I am one busy lady. I have plenty to do and keep my occupied but I am sensing guys want you to ignore them. Play the I don’t really like you but you are here kind of game. I don’t really know what that is about. I thought as adults games were undesirable. I thought you weren’t supposed to play games. I thought games were the thing that no one wanted. I am thinking as per usual adulthood is very similar to high school and hard to get is where it is at.
In my personal adventure to be me, honesty was the only way I wanted to be and I feel the only way I should be so I can do for me the things I need. I know I should seem aloof and uninterested but for me it isn’t the attention I need or even the affirmation but it is the honesty of the other person. I don’t bother with someone that doesn’t interest me. I am open and honest about it as I expect someone to be open and honest with me. I appreciate “I am just not that into you” that takes courage or the “Hey, you aren’t my type”. I am OK with that. Why can’t we say these things? Why can’t we accept them? Instead when I am into or interested I have to ignore them? I have to pretend I am not that interested in everyone? Am I supposed to prolong the courting process? What is the reason to seem
uninterested? Does it make you awesome to be so nonchalant? I feel like this culture of cool ruins actual feelings for fake publicized ones.
I don’t get it. That is not who I am. I am me, End of story. I won’t subscribe to the “cool” way of being. I cannot and will not hide who I am. If you think it is cool for me to hide my feelings then maybe you aren’t worthy of them. Maybe my feelings are too good for you.

 

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