Hitched & Knocked Up…Not Necessarily in That Order

Getting Married and Knocked Up

Diary oh Diary!! I am apparently at that age when everyone and their mother is getting married and knocked up. I never was one to care about either. I mean I guess I assumed one or both would be in my future but I never was in a rush to do it but now that everyone I know is on the “adult ball” I am itching a bit for that fab ring and perhaps a faboo little Fashionista of my very own. All of it sounds and looks fun but I can’t help but think are those decisions right for me?
I know soo many people who jumped up into marriage and/or children and now aren’t happy with their decisions either because they rushed or because they never sat back and actually thought about if they really wanted these things. It makes me think as children, especially for little girls, the idea of growing up, getting married & having children is something spoon fed to you your whole life. I don’t understand why. Why does that make you an adult?
I happen to know many people who are married now and miserable and we are in our early 30′s and some even younger. Why aren’t we taught instead to become a fulfilled person and then when we are happy with ourselves we can then figure out is marriage and parenthood are on our agendas. I feel like everyone moves along like sheep looking for that final someone so they can have that wedding, then that family then whatever else someone said has be to done. It makes no sense to me.
I get flack from my family all of the time about why the bf and I aren’t married or when I say idk if I want to be a parent or get pregnant. Like I just said I was gonna kill kittens or something. I don’t see why these are decisions that are forced on us at such a young age. I feel like if we weren’t harrassed into thinking this was the only route to go there would be less divorce, less unwanted pregnancies and perhaps happier families. The bf and I have been together for 6 years almost and we share everything but we still struggle with the idea of forever and being parents. These are huge decisions that are easier decided than enforced. My parents were together for 30years before my mother passed away and I can say at times I wondered if my parents wouldn’t have been happier separated. The bf’s parents divorced each other and other spouses multiple times. We take the idea of forever extremely seriously. I know the process to being a wife/husband is fun and it should be but I think people are blinded by that before realizing what forever really means and in a time where people can get divorced and not looked down upon it makes the concept of forever even more difficult and less important that it used to be. I understand in many religions marriage is important but lets remember back when most religions were formed marriages were rarely for love and usualy unhappy as well as women were treated like slaves and baby making machines so the appeal sort of confuses me today.
I also know many people who are parents and I can say that only a handful I think were ready for it and mature enough to really be raising small people. I know people who are pregnant right now and I want to scream in their ear “WHY DID YOU DO THIS? YOU AREN’T EVEN GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF YOUR LIFE HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER”.
You know the people who I have found are the best equipped to raise children and be good spouses? The people who did it the other way around. I know quite a few single parents that had children when they weren’t married and they make amazing parents! Their children (despite the hardships and issues I know some children have from this situation) they are just as amazing as their parents. You can see the hard work and the closeness they have with one another. Also, the people who messed up and go married when they shouldn’t and are now divorced they are probably the first (not in all cases lol but some) person I would choose to date because they have a clarity about themselves and relationships that other people just don’t.
All in all I am confused. The fun parts do seem fun but in the end are they fun enough for long enough or is forever really that long?

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