Honesty Puhleez

Honesty Puhleez

Honesty Puhleez

Ok Diary,

So here is a lesson I can never seem to actually fully learn HONESTY! Everyone always says “Hey I appreciate honesty”,”I am always honest”, “I can’t stand dishonesty”and the like but what I have figured out is when people say that what they are telling you is “I won’t be completely honest with you all of the time ever but what I expect is your complete and utter honesty at all times otherwise you aren’t true to your word”
I understand being honest at all times can be difficult. Sometimes you don’t want to hurt someone or you are embarrassed or your honestly might be offensive. I get it trust me. I find it difficult to be honest sometimes especially if I know it will get me in trouble but one of the things I have been trying to do in the past few years is be as honest as possible. I have been owning my stuff even when I know it might get me in trouble or make someone made or hurt some ones feelings. I have gotten sick and tired of the lack of honesty in the world, I assumed the more honest I was to others the more honesty I would get back.
I am not sure when honesty became such a bad word or difficult act but it clearly is. People would much rather look you in the eye and make themselves feel comfortable than tell you the truth.
I wonder if it has to do with the fact that we don’t really need to have face to face contact anymore. You can be anyone you want now as most contact happens over a device. Has technology made us dishonest? Since there is no more having to shake on it, or look people in the eye or even have more than a cyber relationship maybe dishonesty has become so comfortable because the truth really doesn’t even have to matter.
It seems to me that in my effort to be more honest and open with people around me I have allowed people to get closer sooner than maybe I would have in my less honest days. Due to my efforts in honesty, dishonesty hurts more than it would have previously. I hate to think that anyone I want to have any sort of relationship with friend, business or even love wise that I have to keep them at an arms length until they have proven their honesty the same whey one has to prove they can be trusted. I suppose the both go hand and hand but in my own gullibleness I really do believe people have no reason to be dishonest with me so I have no choice but to believe or trust them. I don’t want to be that person that thinks bad of people until they prove me otherwise. I feel like that kind of constant negativity eats away at you. I don’t want to live like that but being honest and open doesn’t seem to be working out well for me either.
I am not perfect, I am still on a path to learn who I am, what I want and where I want to go but I feel like honesty is the only real way to get there. I might have to take some hurt on the way to build me up and show me how important honesty really is so that I can avoid making others feel the way I do when presented with dishonesty. Maybe it is a reminder that dishonesty is always around and although I cannot fix it I can make sure that I learn from it.

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