I Love You…Well Until I Love You

I Love You...Well Until I Love You

I Love You...Well Until I Love You

Due to the fact that it is birthday month I tend reminisce. As of late I have been rewatching some of my favorite late 90′s- early 2000 television shows that for one reason or another I hold near and dear to my heart. The ever present theme that can escape no ones attention is that everyone, no matter how young or old, needs to be in love. I can only assume this is 1. a necessity for ratings but 2. mimicking real life. I’m not sure if this need is good or bad but I feel like most people in real life need it and are always looking for it so making it a constant plot theme does make sense.
What I never really thought about when these shows were new to me was how often these people fall in love. I was so enthralled with the drama that the fact that the characters fell in love with almost everyone in the group or outsider introduced everytime now seems a bit insane. Maybe in some instances these shows were attempting to display our sometimes mistaken or misplaced feelings of amore or our lessons we learn from different types of love but dang these people fell a lot.
I want to say I am jealous because the “idea” of love is always enticing. In my case I love LOVE in non-realistic situations like in books, movies or tv shows but real life love doesn’t actually compare ever. Perhaps it is the over dramatization of the situations but the those “fake” loves always seem so simple for the characters to find and intense during the course of the relationship. On television when a characters heart gets broken it can last for one maybe two episodes in real life your one or two episodes seem like a life time. Sometimes they actually do last a lifetime. Then factor in the sadness and pining, healing process, the “I’m taking my time to be single, finding a new person or focus of your feelings could take an entire season if not more in real time. Ain’t no TV show got time for that!
On television the viewer has to be kept interested so a new love interest has to come fast and easy. I think that might be my problem with it. It all seems so easy. Everyone is so quick to love and get over their hurdles. They can easily put the past behind them and BOOM “I love you” happens all over again. There is no way that can be compared to real life love. Getting over and moving on is no where near that easy unless you were never really in love to begin with, in my opinion anyway.
In a time where reality television is the most watched genre you can still see the same fundamental rules apply, all for ratings, but can falling in love constantly be that easy? Maybe all the rest of us need are some really good writers and producers and magically we have the big mystery of love all figured out. We can subtract any actual hurt and pain and feel free to just keep it moving, never having to ask ourselves that dreadful question “Will I ever find love?”.
Personally, at the moment I am sort of digging forgettting what being in love is like and seeing it from a distance on my TV. I like the memories and the sometimes almost longing when I see happy situations on my fave old school shows. I’m not completely sure I want to fall in love as fast or as often as my favorite characters. While the shows may have had an impact on my life (mostly fashion wise I am sure….then not now) I don’t think I want it to be so easy. Perhaps its the masochist in me but I appreciate the difficult times and the recouping. I want my time to assess the situation and learn from it. I think a major issue society has is, forgive me for getting mildly therapist, processing. No one knows how to anymore or even needs to and television doesn’t help. It is rare in my real life that I find people actually stepping back from any difficult situation to process, learn and heal. I think we would all rather avoid and forget so we cancel out difficult feelings with new different ones to mask any hurt or confusion we might have. I almost wish television would reflect the actual healing processes but I assume watching some unwashed, starving, depressed, sad, crappy, loser on TV would be interesting for less than 15 minutes. We are a global community of instant gratification. I see it in my friends all of the time. Every time they go through a break up they are right back out there on the hunt. Sometimes I know it just happens and you find someone else you didn’t mean to right after a break up but in my real life I see how quick, fast and seriously the people I know fall in love. My family even pokes fun at me because of what they think is my avoidance of the feeling. I’ve been in only a few serious and/or long term relationships and often saying the phrase “I Love You” isn’t really my cup of tea. Maybe I have never really been in love or my right kind of love. Possibly I should mimic TV and just be more free with my feelings and fall when ever I can. Maybe my expectations of being in love are too high. Reading too many late 19th and early 20th century English novels might have ruined me for real life love and jaded me to the bland unimaginative love i’ve grown up watching and still see on television and cinema today. For now I think I will stick with my favorite shows and their love interests until one day I become comfortable with finding my own.

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