This is not a picture of me but this is totally how I am feeling. Today is a cold and rainy day which totally fits my mood! I tried on a shirt today I hadn’t tried on in a long time and what happened? That’s right you guessed it, it is almost not fitting! I am really struggling to lose weight and for some reason I just can’t get it off. I lose 10 than gain 7! WTF. I work out regularly (I may have been lazy for the past 3 weeks now but come on) I am on weight watchers, I eat good food, no fast food, no soda, I do cleanses, detoxes, take vitamins & water pills, I have an elliptical at home, a gym membership, a yoga membership, exercise equipment galore at home, use a pedometer, have a friggen bike under my desk for added exercise (that I also haven’t used in a while) and I just cannot get a good momentum. It was real easy to put on this weight and terribly difficult to lose it. I have soo many fab outfits that I stare at longingly because of how small they are and how awesome I used to look in them. I didn’t have a baby so I can’t even use that as a proper rationalization. I do drink. Not AA type of drink but I do enjoy wine or vodka on a very regular basis. I would think that the large amounts of water and green tea I drink it would just flow out but no. I can’t even wear any of my hundreds of beautiful shoes because they just don’t look right with any of my fat-girl ensembles.
Now the holiday’s are coming up and I am still going to be overly-pudgy. It isn’t easy being the fat one in the family (my family is huge and not a one of them can manage to make me feel a little better…there is my dad but I blame some of this fatness on him and rightly so!) I’m not going to wish to be skinny because clearly I got myself here I should get myself back but damn! I know some slopsters that don’t move, eat like crap, drink all of the time and apparently it has no effect on their bodies. I would like to wish for one of those crazy metabolisms that burn everything immediately upon intake but again I feel like true weight loss has to come from the battle. I like a challenge just as much as the next Fashionista but I can now see the appeal of plastic surgery…this shit is hard!
I am sure many of you feel the same way after staring at the overtly skinny and in shape celebs and the people we see on a daily basis that emulate them. I want to be one don’t get me wrong. Fitting into the tiniest black dress on the planet with some sky high pumps and not looking like a stuffed sasusage would be amazing but currently that isn’t in the cards unless the tiniest black dress also sucked in 100lbs of fattness and rid me of any signs of cellulite as well as allowing me to breath then I am set.