Recently I have moved on up and over to a place of my very own which is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time. This is the first time I have lived on my own in a very long time. This did make me very aware of the small luxuries I have now chosen to give up. Things like having my pets taken care of during the day while I was at work or not having to run particular errands, even doing the laundry! This is a semi-rude awakening but I can say not a completely horrible one. It is good to realize your limitations and responsibilities especially when you were spoiled previously. It makes you appreciate your hard work and effort a little more. I get to do things on my time and my way with out another person watching over me or huffing and puffing that something they want to have done isn’t being done. I don’t have anyone holding things over my head any longer. I am sure there will be days that I won’t feel so refreshed about the situation but as for now the feeling is liberating.
I appreciate the fact that I have great friends and family around me. It makes the overwhelming times much less so. I am lucky enough to have a few of my closest friends in similar situations at different stages. It is beyond helpful to me for us all to have each other to lean on. I have seen what they have gone through, learned from their mistakes and even can offer help from my own situation. It is a different kind of bonding experience.
I feel somewhat like I am starring in my own romantic comedy since the beginning of this “journey” of sorts. I have even been watching romantic comedies while at home. Generally romantic comedies are not my first choice of movie but I cannot get enough of them lately. I want to take this time to focus on me and work on all of the things I have been wanting to do with and for myself, which is generally what happens to the lead in most romantic comedies especially after a huge break up. Then just when I have given up and am convinced I will be a spinster for life is when “prince charming” will come waltzing in to fix my loneliness forever. HA! It’s nice to pretend sometimes though.
I wish more people took the opportunity I have given myself. I won’t lie, I miss the comfort and stability of my last relationship but I had to do this. I wasn’t proud anymore of the person I was becoming. I didn’t like where I was going and it seemed as a couple weren’t pushing each other to grow but tearing each other apart. It is sad but I feel like this was the best decision we could have made for the both of us. I could see in the long run we would start to hate each other and probably resent the other for things we hadn’t done because of our relationship.
I can see why people stay in situations even though they aren’t happy. Money, responsibilities and comfort are all a factor that I think many people deem as more important then happiness. It is easy to convince yourself that this is all that life has to offer or this is what everyones life is like but that isn’t true. Life is like that for many people because they don’t have the courage to choose happiness. They don’t think they are worth it perhaps or even that they deserve it. I was that person for a long time and still am. No one has the right answer to your happiness even though everyone else will give you their advice and tell you what the right thing to do is but only you really know. It isn’t easy and it did take a long time to come to my decision but I promise you that your happiness should always be the answer. Not anyone else’s version of happiness or what you think you can make your happiness into but your real true happiness. Even when you may feel miserable, scared and yes, unhappy it does get better. It will get better because you will take those experiences and mold them into the new improved person that you have always wanted to become. Happiness doesn’t just come out of thin air. You have to work to find it in yourself. There is always temporary happiness or even frivolous happiness but that always fades and leaves you right back to where you started. Don’t forget your past, incorporate it into your future so you don’t ever go back to that place again. Happiness is the only option and if more people were less afraid to choose it we might all have to work a little less at finding it.