I have semi-recently gone through a major break up, moved into my own place and am trying to focus on myself. Ye,s it was sad. Yes, it was hard but at least once a day someone asks me how it feels to be alone. How do I like living alone? Like I’ve been plagued with this alone syndrome that may be fatal if I don’t get reattached quickly.
I left for a reason people! Alone was more appealing than attached for me. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I feel lonley, sometimes I get sad but I am pretty sure that is part of the healing/grieving process that comes with any break up.
I keep being asked “Soooooo……what is it like to live ALONE?” as if this is the worst fate to befall a 30something year old woman who has a good job, good credit, super cute, a decent car and a beautiful apartment. Does none of that account for me being a worthy human being? Has no one ever lived alone before? Am I a trail blazer in the single occupant apartment living arena? Have I suddenly become a tragic case that needs to talk about my aloneness sto someone or anyone, everywhere and anywhere can help me fix my plight? NO SIREE-BOB! I am fine with it. I am happy about it. I am doing my own things, improving on myself, reevaluating my goals and motivations. Isn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t me jumping into another relationship right away be a bigger problem? I get the worst advice and mixed messages that I have never asked for from friends, family and even strangers about my “situation”.
I feel like people would be happier if I stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working. I have said it before and I will say it again, I understand wanting comfort. I understand staying in a relationship that you have invested so much of yourself and time into even if it really isn’t what you want or making you happy. I don’t judge necessarily but that is a life I don’t think I could live. Maybe I am not desperate or alone enough yet. Maybe I still feel like I have a chance or maybe even two to get it right and get what I want from love. I think that is a much better end result.
I know miserable people, in miserable relationships who admit to living miserable lives. I hate to see people like that. It is painful for me but not everyone can be alone or start over again. Some people have children and I understand those reasons as well.
But as for me I refuse to do it. I also refuse to be classified as ALONE! I have a family so large we rival Rhode Islands population, a small and wonderful set of completely supportive and amazing friends, my always helpful pooch and kitty and then there is myself. I love me. I enjoy me very much! I am a good time. I can keep myself entertaine for long periods of time which is a perk of growing up as an only child, I have a great imagination.
So I say once again I did not contract some life threatening disease called ALONE. I am not going to die from this or spread it around or even be set back in my life in anyway. I did something that took courage, that was difficult and one of the most grown up things I think anyone can do. I should be praised and perhaps have my very own international holiday for standing up and saying “NO I WON’T SETTLE! I AM WORTH MORE THAN THIS! MY HEART IS WORTH MORE THAN THIS! I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS AND I WILL FIND IT!”