I have had this conversation lately a few times with some of my girl friends and I figured we were not the only ones who have noticed this trend more and more in the recent years. Now with text messaging/instant messaging/skype/facetime and the like I have noticed how bold men have gotten. I am sure the same goes for women but what I have noticed more in men is their quickness to sexualize a conversation now. I see this especially through text. As if porn, television, magazines, music and everything else that is readily available through our hypersexualized society that men tend to go right for the “sexting” method of conversation instead of actually texting a lady to have a conversation.
I can see the benefits of sexting whether you are in or out of a relationship but I feel like men now use it as one more tool to get what they want even from friends. Now every women in a man’s phone book can be enlisted to play in a man’s fantasy. He no longer has to actually have to look the woman in the face or have a real conversation with her. They can skip right passed putting in any effort and go right to what they want. If a woman doesn’t reciprocate they can move on to the next. Eventually they will text someone who is ready and willing.
I am a big texter. I don’t really like talking on the phone because I feel limited/forced to pay full attention to someone when I am usually busy and cannot stop what I am doing for a phone call unless it is an emergency, so texting is great for me. Plus it is like a transcript so if I’m not really paying attention I can play catch up later.
I am not oblivious to the sexting culture and it is quite fun, at times, but I feel like this is just one more tool men can use to feel out a woman to see how easily they can bed her. As if they don’t have it easy enough we have to now have written proof of things we say we are going to do. Then perhaps be held to it at a later date. I can’t tell you how many guy friends tell me that is the only time they text a girl. If they are bored they start up a dirty convo and most women gush at the flirtation. What most women don’t realize is they are on a list with other women that these guys do this to regularly. You aren’t special. They aren’t only doing this with you. They are doing this to break the ice and be able to have an in to inviting themselves over for hopeful play. It’s like their idea of foreplay I guess.
I think if a guy found out a girl he was sexting had him on a list of guys she talked dirty to in times of boredom he would probably think less of her. I am not saying for us ladies to swear it off your techno-dirt forever or altogether but I am saying be mindful because what you are saying can be sent to others, used against you and even perhaps get into the wrong hands. It is almost as bad as nakie photos. Which I am sure go along with the sexting convos for added ambiance. I am just saying don’t let them get off so easily. They need to work for it. If they can’t hold a normal conversation why even bother with them. If they are just a bootie call then great even less work for you, if you are actually interested in them then definitely make them work for it. Don’t let them off so easily with out having to actually do anything. Make sure you aren’t one of the go to girls that he has when he is bored. We already do so much work, must we have to type out our sexual acts now too! Be more creative and say something without really saying anything, let them infer. No need to give it all away now. What if they aren’t really worth it anyway?