The Worst Travesty Known To Woman

The Worst Travesty Known To Woman

The Worst Travesty Known To Woman

 

I am sure you have heard that my dear Betsey Johnson is going out of business and I am beside myself. I don’t know what I am going to do. The possibility of not owning anymore Betsey bags or jewelry is devastating.  My life long goal will never be realized.  The horrible truth can come to light that I will never be skinny enough to finally appropriately wear one of her fabulous dress creations. I know you might say “Who cares about Betsey, She was is Chanel, Dior or even Gucci” but to me she is more than that. Don’t get me wrong I love classic designers and even some of the newbies but Betsey Johnson spoke to me. If I had to name my inner goddess she would be called Betsey Johnson. I remember the first day I saw her on television.  Betsey & I had the same bright pink hair and the same Jem and the Holograms tee on. It was like we were meant to be. When I was little I would spend hours watching all of the fashion shows on television making notes seeing what was in my closet that I could pass off as this seasons latest fashions,usually the clothes came out of my parents closets and after a little sprucing worked perfectly.
I am in dispair about this and not many are taking me seriously. I have felt akin to Betsey ever since that first interview. Her style spoke to me in ways no other designer ever had, could or will. I felt like by wearing her designs I was showing people outwardly as well as in who I was. Her bright colors, sparkles and cartoonish patterns called out to me.  If I were religious my religion would be Betsey Johnson.  That is how strong I feel about her, I would even say stalker status.
I could  sit in a Betsey store for long periods of time examining the clothes. Her dresses were what I loved the most. Not many people can pull off some of Betsey’s dresses without looking like an escapee from Cirque du Soleil but I know I could! Without a doubt I could pull off each and everyone she has ever made (if my had the figure as I do in my mind which is that of a 90′s Drew Barrymore but with bigger boobs, a slightly plumper caboose).
I am beyond sad and need comfort the likes of watching Emma, Sense & Sensibility & Pride & Prejudice while eating extra cheese and vegetable pizza, drinking champagne with chocolate dipped strawberries and a side of Phish Food can help and even then I am not sure if I will be consolable. As the days tick on I wonder if tomorrow the sun will actually rise or if this is just a horrible nightmare from which I might soon awake.

Speak Your Mind

*